If you could shift one thing about your own behavior that would bring in more clients, what would it be?
In my coaching and healing practice, I often hear my new clients say that they need more confidence. Confidence to make the big calls, courage to take out the loan they need, or the grit to get up in the morning to face a stack of bills they don’t know how to pay.
Many of the people come in after their hopes have been dashed against the rocks, and they can’t muster the confidence to keep going. Everything feels “stuck”. And many times they store this “stuckness” as pain, discomfort, or dis-ease in the neck, shoulders, back, or gut.
These clients recognize they are at a tipping point: either they will tip into exhaustion and despair, or something will shift to make them stronger. I help them to see how their stumbling block can become a stepping stone.
So let’s back up a moment. What’s a primary cause for lack of confidence? Stress!
The statistics on stress are utterly alarming.
A series of American Psychological Association show:
- 77% of the population experienced physical symptoms of stress, including fatigue, headache, upset stomach, muscle tension, teeth grinding and dizziness in a given month. (Source)
- 73 percent report psychological symptoms, including anger and irritability, anxiety, lack of energy and on the verge of tears. Almost half of Americans report lying awake at night. (Source)
- The top sources of stress are: money (64 percent report that this is a very or somewhat significant source of stress), work (60 percent), the economy (49 percent), family responsibilities (47 percent) and personal health concerns (46 percent). (Source)
Stress isn’t always bad of course. Young people are particularly adept at riding the stress wave. It can be exhilarating! Yet when the wave is too big, moves too fast, or goes on for too long, our nervous systems get overwhelmed. We lose our confidence as we fall or get tired, and maybe even sick.
When we’re overwhelmed by stress, our mind narrows, we feel anxious, we’re less mentally sharp, and have less perspective. That’s because our brain stem is reducing the blood supply to our thinking brain, leading to confusion, memory lapses, and reduced creativity. Our digestion, immune response and a host of other systems suffer as well.
Potential clients notice when you are not feeling well. When you are not comfortable in your body, they feel less comfortable in their bodies. Science has proven that this anxiety is infectious (our nervous systems communicate with and respond to the nervous systems of people around us), and it becomes one more hurdle you have to leap.
On the other hand, when you are relaxed and grounded, other people are more likely to feel at ease around you. You are also healthier, have more energy, and have a more pleasant attitude.
Your heart and mind are more open, it’s easier to connect with people, you listen better, and can access creative solutions with ease.
How do you relax? Finding that relaxation switch is easier than you might think, and before I tell you, remember: simple actions can have a profound impact. Eye contact, presence, and immediate response to client inquiries can make or break a sale. A snuggle, a kiss, and love can heal upset children.
Likewise, simple actions can have profound impacts on our stress levels, therefore breathing out longer than you breathe in kicks in the parasympathetic nervous system, which is our “relax switch”. It’s simple and it’s free! The longer you do it, and the more you pay attention to the sensations inside (muscles “melting, heart rate slowing, gut relaxing, pain subsiding) the deeper the relaxation goes.
Another fast free way to engage that relaxation response is to rub your hands against the fabric of your clothes, while tracking that sensation. You’ll know within seconds if it is working for you, and the longer you do it, the more you will relax.
Exercise and stretching are other excellent free ways to hit the relax switch. The grounding exercise I start with in all my sessions and products is great for clearing negativity and stress.
All of these options begin to reprogram your mind for confidence, because they help you relax your frazzled nerves. When you destress your mind and body, you can stay centered. Furthermore this means, regardless of who you interact with, you are in your core, your strength, and your confidence.
Just the person a potential client would like to meet!
If you would like more help for turning stressful stumbling blocks into stepping stones, check out my inexpensive NEW
Stressbusters Kit
Inside you’ll discover:
Simple yet effective stress relief tips that you can apply in a minute or less.
The grounding cord meditation to release negative energy
High frequency downloads that help reprogram you for confidence.
The more you listen, the more you will relax.
This gives you the ability to focus on what is important.
And if your stress levels are severe or deeply embedded…
You can access Part II of the Stressbusters Kit here.